![]() ![]() ![]() I guess some of our “good job’s” could be traded in for more rewards and hugs and kisses. Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch was tied for the highest score – and, unlike her parents, Words of Affirmation ranked lowest. The part that surprised me about my daughter’s test results was that she had a duo primary love language. But then again, which kid doesn’t go crazy for presents? She had always been tremendously vocal about her Christmas and birthday wish lists (with lots of Frozen toys and dresses), putting them together months in advance. However, there was one person who did care a whole lot about getting presents…and that was our daughter. All this time I thought the way to his heart was through gifts!Īs it turned out, according to the test, neither of us cared much for receiving gifts. My sensitivity makes me easily affected by other people’s feedback and praise.īut my husband? He had always appeared sure-footed and unchanged by others’ opinions, so I would never have guessed that he also felt his best when he received Words of Affirmation. I’m the kind of person who could live off a single compliment for a month. I didn’t expect my husband’s primary love language to be Words of Affirmation. And not just any discovery, but one that helps me communicate my love more effectively. It’s exciting that even though I am familiar with the intricacies of our family life and thought I knew everything there was to know about them, I could still make big discoveries about them. After taking the 5 Love Languages quiz (with my husband and daughter, I discovered that while I may know exactly how much my husband liked his work clothes organised (colour-coded, pants on the right side) and what my daughter’s favourite snacks were (bread and macadamia nuts), I had yet to know their primary love languages. Kids who have full love tanks are emotionally healthy and secure.Īn even better idea is to ensure that the whole family’s love tank is full. The key to meeting our kids’ need for love, or filling up their “love tank,” is to express our love in a way that corresponds with their primary love language. So what they really crave is receiving daily hugs from you. You could spend hundreds of hours helping your kids study for their PSLE and chaperoning them to swimming lessons, but for all your effort and acts of service, maybe their love language is actually Physical Touch. Nothing makes your child feel more loved than hugs, kisses, holding hands, and cuddling. What’s most important to your child is having your undivided attention during special bonding time. Your child feels the most loved when they receive presents and surprises. Your child loves it when you do nice things for them, such as helping them with projects or practising sports together. Your child feels most loved when they hear encouragement like, “You did well!” or “You’re #1!” Take a look below to see which rings true for your child. Gary Chapman introduces the five basic ways to express and experience love. I wished she’d say “Good job” or “I love you” more – but that just wasn’t her way. My young self was convinced that if she really loved me, she wouldn’t be so harsh and critical. If I didn’t love you, I’d just let you get away with this kind of behaviour.” Are you kidding? I thought. Every time I got in trouble as a kid, my mum would say, “It’s because I love you that I’m scolding you.
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